No seriously, I really don’t know how I feel about Valentine’s Day at the moment! I’m really not sure what I think about it, so I thought I’d share some of my ramblings with you below.
I’m in two minds about it – is it a great day to celebrate love, or is it just a big fat waste of time and money?
All my musing and humming and ha-ing led me to look up the definition of Valentine’s Day. The holiday’s roots are in the ancient Roman festival of Lupercalia. And then, it was actually good old Chaucer who got the 14th Feb associated with love, or rather, ‘courtly love’. And actually this is what I always thought Valentine’s was meant to be about – which is, as my Grandparents would say, ‘courting couples’.
Isn’t that where the line, ‘will you be my Valentine?’ comes from? I’m sure it was all once meant to be the case that you got a mysterious bunch of flowers or a card from someone anonymous declaring their love. Hmm.
Let’s not lie though, it’s a day that has become hugely commercialised. And now it’s all a pressurised bubble of exploding hearts, with people competing on social media over whose bunch of roses is bigger or whose partner orchestrated the most extravagant plans for them. It all feels a bit odd to me and…somewhat tasteless.
I think what it really comes from is that, for me, there shouldn’t be one day a year where you show someone you care. Sure I love flowers, gimme gimme, but I feel like Valentine’s Day has become more of a show day now – with people just going through the motions because they feel the have to.
I hate the idea of people being made to feel rubbish because they didn’t get flowers or a card, or because they are single, or if they are having relationship trouble on a day that’s meant to be all about love. These commercialised calendar days can actually be really horrible.
From my own perspective, I’ve been with my BF Nick for 4.5 years. I’m not naive enough to say we’ll be together forever – the future is a precarious thing and no one ever knows whats coming – but nevertheless, when you’re a twenty-something, 4 years is a long time. And it’s taken me this long to realise what is important and what is not, and to actually NOTICE that it’s the little things that someone does for you, day in day out, that prove they care.
It’s not the flowers they give you on Valentine’s Day. It’s the coffee they bring you every single morning, it’s the tears they wipe away, the coat-around-the-shoulders when its cold outside. It’s the lunchtime call to see how your day is, parking your car for you because you can’t actually do it, and coming home with a Malteaser Bunny because they know its what you love.
And those little things are the ones worth looking out for. You can see them every day – in amongst all the hustle and bustle of life, under the rose petals and the chocolates – if you look hard enough, you’ll see two people holding hands, or laughing, or sharing a moment together.
It doesn’t always have to be about the extravagant and the glamourous.
And then of course, there are so many other kinds of love that can be celebrated on Valentine’s Day. Love for your family and friends, and also love for yourself. Self-love is just as important as anything else!
So if you’re feeling a bit sick of the superficial, lets look at it another way. I suppose Valentine’s Day for me is now serving as a far more interesting reminder. A day that I once thought was all about the grand romantic gestures, is now the day that reminds me that it’s the little things that really show love.
Bring me roses by all means, but really, its the other 364 days of the year that actually count when it comes to love.